"你知道自己的年龄吗?"如果别人这样问你,你可能觉得问话的人不大礼貌;但是,听清楚,问题是:"你"知道"你自己"的年龄吗?
If you were asked "Do you know your age?" You might feel being intruded. But listen, the question is: Do "you" know "your age"?
这似乎是一个不需要回答的问题:每个人的年龄似乎都是与生俱来的,还有不知道的吗?那么,下一个问题,可能就更让人迷惑了:"你有几个年龄?"
The question doesn't seem to need an answer. Is there anyone who doesn't know his or her own age? The next question may be even more puzzling: "How many ages do you have?"
不错,一个人从出生之日起便有了自己的年龄,但那只是人的"部分年龄"。社会心理学家告诉我们,每个人其实有三个年龄——生理年龄、心理年龄和社会年龄,且各含义不同。
Sure, everyone was born with an age, but that's only part of the question. Socio-psychologists tell us everyone has three ages—biological age, psychological age and social age, each with different connotations.
"生理年龄"是无法选择的,但另外两个却可以。所谓"心理年龄",是自我心态的感受,以及适应环境变化的能力,而"社会年龄"则是社会期待某人所应承担的角色,是别人对你年龄的感觉与评估。这三种年龄可以相互吻合,亦可彼此不同,甚至距离拉得很大。据研究,可以大到相差10岁、20岁,甚至更多。
Of the three ages, apart from the first one, the other two one can have, to a large degree, discretionarily. The so-called "psychological age" refers to the notion of subjective awareness about self-mentality and the ability to adapt to a changing environment. "Social age", on the other hand, is sensed and judged by others to perform a certain social role of that age. These three ages can be overlapped or torn apart and, the discrepancies among them may be as large as twenty, thirty years, or even more, according to some research.
特别是后两种年龄,是非常主观、甚至是"可控"的。我有一位著名老作家朋友,他说自己的年龄永远停留在了32岁,以后再写什么,都离不开那个年龄。还有一些我所认识的朋友,虽年纪不大,但内心沉重,老气呈现。
The last two ages, in particular, are highly subjective and even "manageable". A good friend of mine, a well-known senior writer, once told me that his age had "stalled" at thirty-two and seemed to have never progressed with his writing of all those years. Some of my other friends, however, though young, are heavy-hearted and old for their ages.
其实,"心理年龄"和"社会年龄"又会反过来影响"生理年龄"。正所谓"心老了人便老了",而"心高自然年少"。可见,后两种年龄对一个人会有更大的影响。
In reality, psychological age and social age may in turn affect one's biological age, even one's life in a more significant way. As the saying goes, "people are rejuvenated by high aspiration and aged by disheartenments".
所以,你积极对待生活,生活最终便会积极对待你。
Believe or not, in the end, life always rewards active participants.
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